Incase you haven't already noticed...

...I think Wikipedia is the best thing since sliced bread!! (What did people used to say before sliced bread came along??)

:)

That will be all. Thank you.

Dante, Virgil, Dickens and Edgar Allen Poe, who is creepy!

I have recently been reading Dante's Divine Comedy. Mainly due to the fact that it came free with my little ebook reading gadgety thingumy, and I've never read it, which is a sacrilege! So I felt I really should. Besides, Virgil's in it, and I love Virgil :) It's my dream to learn Classical Latin properly and read the Aeniad. I have a lovely story attributed to Virgil about the Goddess Laverna, but that's a story for another post! But anyway, I would highly reccomend it. I've just gone past the bit with Charon (That's the ferryman, to those unfamiliar. Wiki him here, he's fascinating. Greeks used to place silver coins on the eyes/in the mouths of their dead to pay the ferryman for taking them 'across to the other side') The translation I've got seems pretty good, it's been layed out very nicely. Although I'm not sure how much of the original text may or may not have been sacraficed for the sake of aesthetics.
This has lead to a wonderful revelation. At last, I finally know, there are 9 circles of Hell. Not 7, as I always thought for some reason!
Not sure what I'm going to start on next. This little gadget is fabulous! It came from argos with "100 classics" on it already. Its got the complete works of Shakespeare! (Eek! I love Macbeth!) All of Dickens, including my favourite, Great Expectations. I've read that so many times I can recite bits of it...which is a little scary. Miss Havisham is positively fabulous! A very haunting yet slightly funny charactor. (That could just be my sense of humour though...) I've already finally read The Rime of the Ancient Marinier. Which is wonderful. Iron Maiden have a song about it, and I've got a recording of it somewhere where it's introduced as "What not to do if a bird shits on you" love it! hehe.
The Best Friend was fiddling with it recently and discovered The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe on it. Having once read something of his in my youth which has something to do with a bladed pendulum, I declared I couldn't stand the bloke because his writing's creepy. To which The Best Friend replied, "pah, nonsense" and proceeded to read it out. I've actually not read anything of his sinse the pendulum incident (I have no idea what that story is by the way) I've always been rather put off, and avoided him utterly! But The Best Friend read it beautifully, and it's actually a really nice paced gothic poem. The subject matter's slightly creepy, but not too much so. And it's well and truly made up for by the beautiful way it's written, and the beautiful rhythem of it when it's read aloud. Might explore some more of his work...maybe...if it's not too scary. (Un-scary reccomendations welcome by the way please!)
The one thing that I was very surprised isn't on it is "The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders" by Daniel Defoe. Which is a wonderful story! Very moral, but very intriguing. Well, it pretends to be very moral anyway! In my opinion, it's not all that convincing. I would have loved to have seen Newgate "in the flesh" so to speak, just to put a visual image onto this horrible place which is so hauntingly described. But I wiki'd it, and it's been knocked down now. Probably a good thing!

Women and Bikes and Balance

And no that is not the title of a slightly creepy porno!
It's balance that's the issue. On day one of “that time of the month” I get the dropsies. Really bad. Just about anything I pick up ends up on the floor. So of course, a machine with an internal combustion engine capable of speeds up to and including 174mph is not the best thing to pick up!! So I don't. I do have a car, but it is my humble opinion that I am far more dangerous with a ton of metal than a bike anyway, so I don't go near that either! Having only had my car license a few months, I still haven't quite got the hang of not driving into stuff yet. Fortunately no people or other vehicles have been harmed, but I can't say the same for trees, multi storey car park walls, bollards etc...Well, work is within walking distance, and All Social Activities Are Cancelled on that day anyway. So it's not too much of a problem. But it is a terrible nuisance! Particularly on the occasions it falls on a sunny sunday!!

Shherslongeee

As I have already mentioned, an Englishman's home is his castle. So this Englishman (well, englishwoman actually, but I really disagree with all this OTT Political Correctness nonsense that requires you to refer to Mankind as “Humankind” or “Wo/Mankind” Load of nonsense if you ask me. We all know the word Mankind refers to the whole lot, and not just men, so really, where's the problem?)
Anyway, yes, this Englishman was pretty pissed off to discover that the rather spoilt cats had decided that the lovely Union Jack couch in the corner of the living room would make a better litter tray than the one filled with litter in the bathroom. Does anyone have a recipe for Kitten Chow Mein I could try?? I had to throw the bloody thing out. But, on the bright side, I have bought a new one to replace it. It's a very Victorian Renaissance Romany looking thing. And I have been referring to it as a “Roman Lounging Chair” because as you can see from the title up there, I am neither able to spell or pronounce the correct name of the damned thing! Anyway, it's ever so nice, and I look forward to many hours relaxing on it with my books!

Shock Horror Panic and Drama!!

Christie's FI light has come on!! It's gone off again, but I am currently in an inconsolable state of panic! I shall have to take her back to the dealership and cry profusely until she's all mended. If anyone wants me, I shall be at the Motorbike Hospital!!

A Proposal

The sweetest thing has happened!! Some friends of mine are getting married. The proposal was the most dramatic thing... very over the top, but really sweet! They're bikers of course and the plan was to do it at the local bike cafe. It was all organised, (well, as well organised as our little group manage to get anything!!) She was pillion with him. The plan was, He would ring me from the petrol station round the corner because he was 'picking cigarettes up for me', he'd say “Which fags do you want?” and I'd say “we're ready! Get your arses here!” It went perfectly, albeit with me being a little panicky! (Why do I get asked to organise these things?? I mean, I love it, but I'm not very good at it!) The cafe in question has a road along the frontage which is forever being used by stunt riders for just generally showing off, wheelieing, stoppies, etc, you get the drift. He pulled onto this road and we had a bike stationed at the top which stopped the traffic straight after him. We had another bike at the other end which stopped traffic heading the other way as soon as he saw the first bike. So we got him an empty road and He pulls up right outside the cafe, smack bang in the middle of that road and gets off the bike leaving her on it. We had already arranged for a couple of girls to be holding a banner on the opposite side of the road with “[She] will you marry me? Love [He] xx” So He gets down on one knee, ring in hand, and just points to it! It was the sweetest thing!! Don't think she knew what to do! There was also a stunt rider who decided to do a donught and a few burnouts around them whilst all this was going on, which finished the whole scene off perfectly!
Oh, and She said I could be a bridesmaid.
Gonna have to wear a dress! Eek!

Bike Cover

I have a new bike cover! My ninja will now stay shiny and rainspot free! It cost me 25 bloody quid. If the cats piss on this one, I shall piss on them!! That will be all. Thankyou.

Suzuki "BlackBusa"

Just watched the latest Top Gear, heard Jeremy Clarkson referring to Richard Hammonds Hyabusa as a "Suzuki BlackBusa Thing" Just rather tickled me...

Just an interesting random fact for you here (it's another one of those 'pub facts' so it might not be all that factual, but either way, it's quite funny!) As we all know, Suzuki brought out the Busa purely to beat Honda's Blackbird and take the Fastest Production Bike title. Which of course it did. Well the name Hyabusa is quite interesting. It is apparently a Japanese bird of prey whose staple diet consists mainly of blackbirds! This is also, apparently, purely a coincidence!

Bloody Bike

Had Drama with the Ninja today. Flippin thing.
Had the start of a lovely ride back from The Arse End of Nowhere where the fella lives. (Not actually entirely sure where it is, but TomTom knows the way...) Nice twisty roads, hardly any traffic, sunshine, Wagner on the earphones. Sorted. Then the petrol light comes on. This is not a problem in itself when I don't know where I am as with the push of a few buttons, TomTom will find me a garage. (I'd be lost without that thing! Truly, I would) What was a problem was when I got to the garage, tried to put the side stand down and discovered it wouldn't go because the fairing lower was hanging off. Rotten thing! Turns out the bolt had vibrated itself out. Thanks to a very nice lady on a Fireblade I got it succesully bodged back together with a hairband! Talk about the girliest roadside repair job ever... Well, it got me to a Halfords where after much faffing around I got a new bolt and put it back together properly so I could get back to London.
And then guess what. TomTom has a temper tantrum and won't switch on. Granted, the poor little thing is coming up for 5 years old...but seriously? It's never let me down before and I swear by it. (mainly because I can't figure out how to make a Garmin work) I haven't ever bothered updating it or getting a newer model because I'm very much of the "If it aint broke, don't fix it" ilk. However it now seems I'm in trouble. Fortunatly, All Roads Lead To London. So I got home safe and sound. Only to discover that I have developed a tummy ache because my two-weeks-bloody-late 'ladytime' has started. Bollocks. Well that screws up my afternoon out on the bike. If anyone wants me I shall be curled up in the corner in my pyjamas with a bar of Galaxy and Mister Charles Dickens. Sulking.

Religion, Money and Politics

Religion, Money and Politics. The three things you shouldn't discuss at work.

I don't know where that little bit of advice actually came from by the way. I seem to remember it being something I was told once. It's actually pretty sound advice when you think about it. It really is the three topics bound to cause an argument if discussed at work. I'm sure there are others too. I can think of a few;
Whether or not your colleague's partners are shagable
How fat the new secretary is getting
How awful [insert colleague's favourite band here] are at singing
You get the drift...

Religion

Religion is something that fascinates me, one of my passions if you will. It's not that I'm an overly religious person myself, but mankind's need to constantly find something "else" out there intrigues me. It's been going on for centuries and the correlations are striking. Take for example the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus. Catholics have some lovely imagery of these two in a pretty standard position. Baby on mummy's lap. Just one other example of where you can find this is in Ancient Egyptian Religion. Isis and Horus. Identical imagery. (Pictures nicked from Wikipedia of Mary here and Isis here.) What's also curious is Mary's often depicted with her Halo and Isis has a Sun Disk on her headdress. It's quite possible that the Christians were inspired by the Egyptians in some way, leading to these similarities. (There are other similarities, but I shan't bore you with too many in depth details!) There's a popular theory that Ramses The Great (Ramses II) was the Pharoh from the Bible. The History Channel once did a fabulous documentary on this, google it, it's well worth a watch and is pretty plausible. But what this means is that the two cultures knew of each other. We have countless sources to say so, including of course, the Bible itself. What is interesting is when common themes appear between cultures that did not know of each other. Cultures that are too far apart geographically and chronologically. One incredible general example is Polytheism. The belief in many Gods. Aztec Religion was Polytheist, so was Roman. The Romans most definately did not know the Aztecs! In nearly all Polytheist Ancient Religions we also find correlations in the individual Gods. Plagiarism was quite common in the Ancient world, indeed it still goes on today. But it's interesting how mankind gravitated towards these common themes even when the societies couldn't have been plagiarising because they didn't know of each other. A Mother Goddess. Very common. We have the Greek Gaia, Roman Demeter, Egyptin Isis, Mesopotamian Damgalnuna and many more. A Goddess who deals with Childbirth; Egyptian Tarawet, Roman Diana, Greek Artemis, Mesopotamian Innana. A 'King of the Gods' or Main God, Egyptian Amon, Greek Zeus, Roman Jupiter (Juno), Norse Odin. The list goes on. (Note to self: Carl Jung with his 'Archetypes' probably has a lot to say on this theme) Another interesting concept is that of there being one God, of whom all the other Gods are a 'part' or face. The Hindus have got this; Brahmin, and all the other Gods are parts of this main entity.
The 'Afterlife' is another fascinating subject. Most religions have some sort of concept of 'what's next'. Usually the two options are some kind of paradise, or reincarnation into another life. The Ancient Egyptians have a lovely one. It's called the Field of Reeds. It's a paradise, but the deceased is expected to do a certain amount of work in it. So the Egyptians came up with the idea of a 'Ushabti'. This is a little figure made in the (typically Egyptian, totally flattering) image of themselves and placed in the tomb. He has a little spell carved onto the bottom of him so that when the deceased are called to work he will reply "Here I am! Ushabti!" and come to life and trot off to do it for them! Curiously, the only place we find a proper 'Hell & Devil' combination is Christianity. The Devil, according to Christians, is Evil. No two ways about it, he tempts mankind away from God. Whereas in Egyptian Religion, their closest equivalent is Seth. He is not intrinsically Evil. He represents Chaos and is accepted as part of the natural order, not outside it. He also does not rule over any kind of Hell domain. There are judgments of sorts in other religions, but Hell doesn't seem to exist anywhere else. Using the Egyptians again as an example (I know the most about them!) their judgment was called The Weighing of the Heart. It's a symbolic test of how good a person has been in their life, if the heart weighed the same as a feather, they could go the the field of reeds. The feather symbolised the goddess Maat, Truth. If the heart was too heavy, it got chomped up by a nasty looking crocodile-cum-baboon creature, and the soul vanished into oblivion. Not Hell, just disappears from existence. So where did the Christians get this idea from? Early Christianity, it's rumoured, taught reincarnation. Don't know of the truth in that statement though. It's on my 'research at a later date' list! Another curious little correlation is how much the Devil looks like Pan of the Romans or Cernunnos of the Celts. Google the images and have a butchers. It's been said that when one religion wants power, the gods of the old religion become the devils of the new. Something to think about...

Money
Not so much of an interesting subject, I have enough of it to survive, but not enough to buy an RVF750!! Ah, we'd all like more money wouldn't we, but then once you have more money, you find more things to spend it on and discover you want even more money. The Cycle Goes On. As long as I have enough to eat and put petrol in the bike, all is well with the world. There's no sense wanting things you can't have. Money is overrated anyway. There are people in this world who live on the most appauling allowance. We don't. (By 'we' I mean the average 'westerner') All you really need to live is a roof over your head and sustenance. Anything you have on top of that is a bonus. By bearing that concept in mind, I'm more than happy with where I am.

Politics
Ah, another favourite subject! Only recently discovered, so I'm a bit of a novice.
I like the Conservatives.
I hate benefits.
Well, abuse of benefits anyway. It really winds me up how easily people abuse the system. I have known people on jobseekers for a number of years. Years! To find a bloody job! It's really not that hard. The jobs are out there if you're willing to work. Problem is, why would you bother when the government are happily handing out free money? Something needs to be done about that. However, my suggestions are largely useless. For example, I once suggested that after a maximum of 3 months on jobseekers the government should hand out mandatory sewer cleaner jobs for £3 an hour. Benefit frauds should also be given these jobs, and every £1 they steal should cost them 1 hour down there with a toothbrush. Yep, I think I'll leave the solution up to the people who know what they're talking about...

The Job Vacancy!

Well, actually the position's filled now. Sort of. Long story. But anyway, after much inefficiancy in the relationships department, The Best Friend and a few other mates insisted I wrote a list of what I look for in a man. The general idea, I think, being to get me to stop chosing silly ones and go and find a sensible, suitable one. Think they're getting a bit fed up with trying to keep up... Well, I found it quite hard to take them too seriously, and this is what I came up with. Thought it was rather funny so decided to post it here!

Position Vacant: Boyfriend
Employer: Christie

Job Specifications:

1. Motorcyclist, preferably sports, althought sport tourer would be considered. Full Working order of motorcycle essential. 125s need not apply. No sunday riders/fair weather riders please.

2. Domestication is an essential requirement. Potential Candidates must have good understanding of dishwashers/washing machines and a high level of hygiene (personal and other)

3. Potential Candidates must be Well Read. Knowledgable in the classics and able to converse/discuss. An interest in history is preferred. A general curiosity/willingness to learn/inquisitiveness towards life would also be preferred.

3. Must have a certain level of presentability and confidence in a public situation. (i.e. don't be a goof and embarrass me!!)

4. Must not be Obsessive Gamer. Once or twice a week is acceptable. Candidates who "Game" more than that need not apply and are reccomended to get out more.

5. Common Sense is mandatory.

6. Plenty of patience and a fair bit of sponaneity would be an added bonus.

Vacancy available in approx 4-6 months!
Applications submitted before this time will be filed and probably forgotten.

Potential Candidates are required to apply in person with a big bunch of Roses and tickets to the theatre.

Applications close in late 2011, as by that time I may well have given up on the whole thing and become a nun!!
Applications submitted after this time will be encouraged to repent their sins and devote their lives to god. and celibacy. and things


(The Best Friend approved, by the way!)

Crafts and Wordsworth and Latin and Things

Crafts are something which I love doing. Scrapbooking is a favourite of mine. I have whole photo albums dedicated to my Bikes with all the embellishments and all sorts in them too. I actually bought an extra Nurburgring sticker when we went out there especially to put in the album with the piccies when we got back... But I do do all sorts of other crafts aswell. Handmade cards, thats a good one. It's a passion, it really is. I don't know why, but when I look at the new products when they come out they're just so inspiring and beautiful. There's something really exciting about seeing the new ranges, getting a few bits and crafting with them. My other passion is my home. I've always said it, "No matter how small, an Englishman's Home is always his Castle" So very true. My home is filled with Beautiful handmade bits and bobs. My kitchen has a lovely fireplace, but when I got the place it was boarded up. So it's opened out now and has some lovely brown vintagey tiles. But I've left one board, because I don't want to actually have a fire. I've now got a lovely Murel painted on to it. It's a blue background with a stylised scene of yellow flowers. Daffodils to be precise. "Along the Lake, Beneath the trees, ten thousand dancing in the breeze" (That would be the favourite Wordsworth Poem) I've sort of painted the lake and added clouds at the top of the scene. In the middle though, I've got "Carpe Diem" painted in calligraphic script. Now, this little phrase is a favourite of mine.

Carpe Diem Quam Minime Credula Postero - Seize the Day trusting as little as possible to the future

Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't mean Seize the Day and 'sod the future'. The poem is by Horace, wiki it here. And when you read the whole thing, you glean a rather different interpretation. Or at least I did anyway. It's more of a 'Seize the Day and trust not in the future or in fate, trust only in the future you create.' (little bit of rhyme for you there!) Make your own future and trust in it, don't leave life to chance. And that's the little message I love. Very inspirational.

Anyway, I leave you with a picture of one of my creations, Elizabeta. Or Elisabeth-Marie. I couldn't make my mind up, so she has two names!

Babies. And Something Icky.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like Babies as much as the next girl. Well, providing they belong to someone else and when they start screaming you can give them back to mummy anyway! I wouldn't mind one of my own one day, but my list of reqirements for the father of my child reads a little bit like, well, lets just say Monty Python style "Spanish Inquisition" jokes would be made should I start asking a boyfriend some of the questions on it!! Maybe I'm too fussy, I don't know. I'd want a man that thinks Private Schools are a wonderful idea and anything less than a Grammar School is unnacceptable and that the child should be taught to read and write before it even starts school (like I was) and should be given everything it wants and should be imbued with a love of reading and learning and encouraged constantly to ask questions and encouraged in anything it wants to pursue and given music lessons of whatever sort it wants and and and...
Yes, well, anyway. My problem is not with babies. It's with mothers. A friend of mine who is on my Facebook recently had another child. Very lovely, well done her, congratulations and all that. What I find unnacceptable is that she felt the need to put pictures up on Facebook. Pictures of your baby all wrapped up in a blanket ready to go home from the hospital - cute. Pictures of your baby all covered in blood having just popped out - revolting. Why would you do it? Who wants to see that?? And who thought it would be a nice idea to take a picture of it? Weren't there more important things going on at the time? Having never had a child, I haven't the first clue what actually happens in the hospital, but I'm sure photo-taking shouldn't be one of the things that does. The picture of the cord in a basket was really a step too far if you ask me. Personally, if it was my child, I wouldn't want to be reminded of the painful experience that is Giving Birth in any way, shape, size or form. Least of all with pictures of all the gory details! But then again, personally, I wouldn't want to get pregnant. I ride a sportsbike and a baby bump would probably mean I wouldn't fit...

The RVF750 RC45 - A Slice of Motorcycling History

Ever seen an RFV750? No? Why not?? You can perv over a piccy here. They are stunning. Sex on wheels I'm tellin ya! I think the thing that makes them so special is they're one of those bikes which have a very interesting history. For example, they were originally produced purely to enable their use in WSB Racing. There used to be (don't know if there still is) that law about X number of bikes having to be sold for use on the road before a bike could be entered. They've also won more TTs than you and I have had hot dinners! They're also now as rare as Rocking Horse shit. Well, a good example is anyway. And you'll be looking to p.a.y. Not actually as quick as my Ninja, but hey, my Ninja has the same 0-60 as a Bugatti Veyron, so what can I say! I love telling people that, it's not strictly true, but close enough. (It's roughly 2.8 seconds, incase you were wondering by the way.) There's just something about the RVF though, something that makes it unique, and makes you fall in love with it instantly. Exclusivity I suppose. Ah well, when I marry my millionaire...
Any single millionaires out there by the way? And can I have your phone numbers please? :)

Blogging

I'm getting the hang of this Blogging business and I quite like it. Although I shall probably go mad on it for a few days...and then forget about it. Think I might write another one now! Ciao xx

My Little VFR400

Funnily enough, and you may not believe this, I'm not a Kawasaki person. I'm actually a Honda person. I once owned a VFR 400. (not the classic NC30, the NC21) And those things are like a disease!! A good disease that is. Once you've been bitten by the VFR bug, you have it for life. And you are now, whether you like it or not, A Honda Person. My little VFR was crap, let's be honest. Poor little bugger was held together with gaffa tape, cable ties and actually a bit of blutac. It cost me a whoping great 500 quid, and at the age of 19, on a sportsbike, I got insured for £285! Gotta love those wonderful people at Footman James. I didn't have it for all that long in the end...it had a few problems. It had problems when I bought it, but after sliding it down the M25 at 120mph on it's side, it may have developed a few more. (We were all young once!!) Needless to say, I and the bike survived. Thanks to the NHS and much bodging respectivley. The one that really got me was the oil leak. After succesfully chewing up a few chain and sprocket sets and various other expensive things, and pretty much cleaning me out, she decides to blow the head gasket. "Bollocks" I thought, being already incredibly fed up with fixing things which had broken on her, I'll just keep topping up the oil. So she kept pissing it out. "I know!" I thinks, in me infinate wisdom, "I just won't put any oil in, then it can't leak any out" Would you believe it, it worked! (there's a first time for everything you know) The oil that was in there congeiled and blocked the gap. So I topped her up and sold her quick. Sold as Seen I might add. I ran her without oil for 2 weeks, and she still started, and went! Now if that's not a testament to Honda Engineering I don't know what is!

Let's talk about the Ninja...

Christie's actually the name of the bike by the way. Ninja 6. 09 plate. Beautiful. No, B.E.A.U-tiful actually. She's gorgeous. I love her. I might actually take her to Vegas and marry her. Well actually I wont, because that's a silly suggestion, but if I could, I would! I like to tell people she's the perfect blend of power and handling. Truth is, out of the Supersports 6's she's the only one I really fit on... The R6 is too high, the CBR's handlebars are too close to you and the GSXR6, well, the new ones are just a little bit too plasticy for my liking. You get the feeling that if you touch the fairing, it may actually shatter. Not so good. And the paintwork? Well, if you put your lid down on the tank, (which we all know you shouldn't do because it may well fall off, but we all do it anyway!) there's a strong possibility it might scratch off a chunk of flimsy Suzuki paint!! The Daytona? Handles like a dream, goes like shit off a shovel on a wet day, but makes the most irritating noise known to man! Im not a 3 person, I'm definatly an inline 4 person. So it had to be the Ninja really. And she's green. Well you wouln't buy a Ferrari in Black would you? Maybe you would, but I wouldn't. It wouldn't feel like a real Ferrari!