So... I've been doing the Theory of Relativity again. General Relativity I get. Space is flexible. Pretty straightforward. I even get E-mc2, 'Energy is equal to mass times the speed of light squared'. And I can explain that in the form of nuclear fusion. (Whack a couple of particles together, that equation will tell you how much energy they'll release)
But Special Relativity?? What was Albert going on about??
Okay, so this is the one to do with speed and time. So, take a Ninja and an R1. The Ninja is travelling at 50mph, the R1 is doing 100mph. To the Ninja rider the R1 only appears to be doing 50mph, but when the Ninja stops at the lights and the R1 doesn't, the R1 now appears to be doing 100mph to the Ninja rider. Perception of speed is relative to your own speed. Get that bit, it's not too complicated.
But if the R1 is now doing the speed of light, and the Ninja is still at the lights, when the R1 stops in ten minutes time, the two clocks will no longer match. The Ninja will say ten past one, but the R1 will say 5 past one. Or something like that.
Huh??
My conclusion: Fit you bike with Nitrous and you'll never be late for anything ever again. Well not by your watch anyway. Maybe by everyone else's!
Disclaimer: Figures here are wildly inaccurate. This is due to attempting to explain one of the most complicated bits of Physics using a silly example with motorcycles. Please don't take it too seriously.
Wednesday 27 October 2010
Tuesday 26 October 2010
Things I'd like to do to Motorcycle Theives
Because obviously the current laws aren't tough enough, as I'm sure any biker would agree. So I'd like to propose a few suggestions of my own;
1. Lock them up in their white van permanently instead of prison. Maybe occasionally posting crusts of bread through the window. Throw away the keys.
2. Make them wear a collar with a "bell". Like you do for a cat to stop it catching birds, but instead of a bell fit it with a little device that plays a message every time they move. Ooh I don't know, something along the lines of; "I am a thieving bastard who steals motorcycles!! Please keep an eye on your bike if I am anywhere near you!"
3. Bring in a type of stoning. Done by the bikers from whom they've stolen bikes, and instead of stones, use all the cut off disk locks/padlocks/chains/broken garage doors etc. that those bikers have been left with.
4. Hang, Draw and Quarter them. I would advise the government to consider hanging them using one of the bike chains they've cut through. Draw them behind their (probably stolen) white van. And finally Quarter them using four of the bikes they've stolen. Preferably ridden by their rightful owners!!
And my personal favourite...
5. Burn them. Just burn them like the heretics they are! Preferably at a Bike Rally.
Bitter? Me? Nah! Of course not...
1. Lock them up in their white van permanently instead of prison. Maybe occasionally posting crusts of bread through the window. Throw away the keys.
2. Make them wear a collar with a "bell". Like you do for a cat to stop it catching birds, but instead of a bell fit it with a little device that plays a message every time they move. Ooh I don't know, something along the lines of; "I am a thieving bastard who steals motorcycles!! Please keep an eye on your bike if I am anywhere near you!"
3. Bring in a type of stoning. Done by the bikers from whom they've stolen bikes, and instead of stones, use all the cut off disk locks/padlocks/chains/broken garage doors etc. that those bikers have been left with.
4. Hang, Draw and Quarter them. I would advise the government to consider hanging them using one of the bike chains they've cut through. Draw them behind their (probably stolen) white van. And finally Quarter them using four of the bikes they've stolen. Preferably ridden by their rightful owners!!
And my personal favourite...
5. Burn them. Just burn them like the heretics they are! Preferably at a Bike Rally.
Bitter? Me? Nah! Of course not...
What happened to the Ninja
Yep, she's been stolen.
Because apparently some people are twats and practically ruining other people's lives is all in a nights work for them!!
The complete tossers in question helped themselves to her overnight on a sunday. Probably a white van and two tossers to lift her in. At least that's what happened to a friend up the road who lost an 08 Ninja two days later, because they caught it on video!! So could well have been the same tossers, seems a bit of a coincidence.
Video? Brilliant, you say, hand the CCTV over to the old bill and bob's your uncle!
Not so, hand the CCTV over to the old bill, and they tell you they "don't have the resources to check it". Don't have the resources?? To check a bit of film and run a number plate check?? Which could possibly take TEN WHOLE MINUTES??? You have got to be kidding me!
Anyway, the result of this palaver is that my insurance company will probably bitch and moan for a bit, hopefully give me at least half what my Ninja was worth and I'll eventually end up with another 09 Ninja insured at a ridiculous price. Maybe by next year, if I'm lucky.
In the meantime, I have been contenting myself with shopping for new security systems. Retail Therapy and all that. And it's making me feel a little bit better.
My wish list so far goes something like this...
1. Garage alarm that goes off in the garage, on the garage and in the house.
2. Awesome hidden cctv system you can check from your phone!
3. Security lights. About 50 of them.
4. Guard dogs.
5. Really big chain. Really big. We're talking big enough to tow an aircraft with!!
6. Super duper bolt cutter proof padlocks. About 20 of them!
7. One of those anti car jackingy thingys they have in South Africa. You know, the thing that shoots flames at you if you touch the vehicle.
8. Big burly 24 hour security guards.
9. The bestest tracker money can buy.
10. And a winning lottery ticket to fund all of the above!
Because apparently some people are twats and practically ruining other people's lives is all in a nights work for them!!
The complete tossers in question helped themselves to her overnight on a sunday. Probably a white van and two tossers to lift her in. At least that's what happened to a friend up the road who lost an 08 Ninja two days later, because they caught it on video!! So could well have been the same tossers, seems a bit of a coincidence.
Video? Brilliant, you say, hand the CCTV over to the old bill and bob's your uncle!
Not so, hand the CCTV over to the old bill, and they tell you they "don't have the resources to check it". Don't have the resources?? To check a bit of film and run a number plate check?? Which could possibly take TEN WHOLE MINUTES??? You have got to be kidding me!
Anyway, the result of this palaver is that my insurance company will probably bitch and moan for a bit, hopefully give me at least half what my Ninja was worth and I'll eventually end up with another 09 Ninja insured at a ridiculous price. Maybe by next year, if I'm lucky.
In the meantime, I have been contenting myself with shopping for new security systems. Retail Therapy and all that. And it's making me feel a little bit better.
My wish list so far goes something like this...
1. Garage alarm that goes off in the garage, on the garage and in the house.
2. Awesome hidden cctv system you can check from your phone!
3. Security lights. About 50 of them.
4. Guard dogs.
5. Really big chain. Really big. We're talking big enough to tow an aircraft with!!
6. Super duper bolt cutter proof padlocks. About 20 of them!
7. One of those anti car jackingy thingys they have in South Africa. You know, the thing that shoots flames at you if you touch the vehicle.
8. Big burly 24 hour security guards.
9. The bestest tracker money can buy.
10. And a winning lottery ticket to fund all of the above!
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