The Theory of Relativity...again (and a Possible Solution!)

Okay, new revelation. Well, sort of.
The bit about the clocks which confused me states that the closer to the speed of light you're travelling the slower you will perceive time to go.
So, after ten minutes the Ninja sitting at the lights will see ten past one on its clock but if the R1 is travelling at the speed of light, after ten minutes (to the observer, or Ninja rider) he'll see 20 past one. Or something like that. Because at the speed of light the internal clock of any object slows right down.

Now what confused me about all this is why the bloody hell it happens?
It would appear the answer is quite simple...
No one actually has the first clue!
It just happens!

So, I'd like to propose a new theory;
Maybe time slows down because it has very short legs. A bit like a Haggis. (Haggis hunting anyone?) And perhaps one is a little shorter than the other.
So maybe when one is zipping around at the speed of light time just can't keep up because it gets out of breath rather quickly...

Of course all theories need proving, so I have devised an experiment using a Suzuki Hayabusa, a Rolex, some Nitrous, Santa Pod drag strip and a Chicken. Therefore I will shortly be applying for a Government Grant to solve one of the greatest scientific mysteries of all time...