Fish, obviously.
Think about it;
GH - as in "That's enough", F
O - as in "Three women", I
TI - as in "Train Station", SH
GHOTI = FISH
Ah, the wonders of the English Language, nothing is as it seems!
Sunday, 6 March 2011
Thursday, 3 March 2011
Ka, Ba and Akh - The Ancient Egyptian Soul
The Egyptians had quite a few interesting ideas with regards to the human soul, and some which are quite hard for us modern types to conceive of. However, some are pretty good food for thought.
So, something "quite interesting" for you now;
Firstly, the Egyptians did not have a simple idea of a soul. There was not "living humans with a single spiritual essence" and then "dead humans who's spiritual essence buggers off to Heaven" (or Hades, or Valhalla or wherever.) There were essentially three "spiritual" parts to a human, and these needed different things. Initially, without the body being preserved, these parts would have nowhere to reside when they weren't living it up in the afterlife, or hanging around irritating their relatives and would therefore quite simply die off. Hence the fantastically complicated burial rituals and the inevitable mummification.
We'll do the easy ones first;
Ka - This is the life force. The living energy of a person. It enters the body when born and leaves it when dead. It is basically the "spirit", not conscious or thinking as such, purely a force.
Ba - This is the thinking one, it's basically the soul. What's different about it is that it needs sustenance. Offerings of food must be left in the tomb, and the Ba will consume the "essence" of these offerings. (The priests of course then get to consume the physical offerings which are no use to the dead, pretty clever huh?)
Akh - This one is the combination of Ka and Ba. And it only comes into being if the proper rituals are performed at the funeral, drawing the Ka and Ba out of the body and getting them to come together. The Akh then basically becomes the Ghost. Able to come and go in the afterlife. And able to wind up the relatives if it so chooses!
Now, what interests me in all of this is the idea that this Akh of the dead person (made up of Ba and Ka) needs sustenance to go on existing. Not only in the form of food and drink, but in the form of attention from the living. There is a lovely little phrase which is often found in tombs which reads "Oh you, who live on earth and pass by this stele, if you love life and hate death, say: may he receive a thousand loaves of bread and a thousand jugs of beer!" So a living person can give this sustenance to the Akh of a dead person simply by willing it.
Now, back to modern times, stick all of that together with one of the theories I previously proposed with regards to the soul, Theory 2. The soul is a concept. It's an idea. Can an idea exist if no one is there to think it? Probably it can't. But it definitely can exist if it is shared and there are many people to think it. Can a person go on simply because there are still people to speak their name and remember them?
Maybe the Egyptians and their nutty priests were onto something here? Maybe they weren't. But it's quite a nice thought either way.
The "opening of the mouth ceremony" The priests are drawing out the Ka and Ba to get them to combine into the Akh. Without this ceremony, it was believed a person could not have life after death.
So, something "quite interesting" for you now;
Firstly, the Egyptians did not have a simple idea of a soul. There was not "living humans with a single spiritual essence" and then "dead humans who's spiritual essence buggers off to Heaven" (or Hades, or Valhalla or wherever.) There were essentially three "spiritual" parts to a human, and these needed different things. Initially, without the body being preserved, these parts would have nowhere to reside when they weren't living it up in the afterlife, or hanging around irritating their relatives and would therefore quite simply die off. Hence the fantastically complicated burial rituals and the inevitable mummification.
We'll do the easy ones first;
Ka - This is the life force. The living energy of a person. It enters the body when born and leaves it when dead. It is basically the "spirit", not conscious or thinking as such, purely a force.
Ba - This is the thinking one, it's basically the soul. What's different about it is that it needs sustenance. Offerings of food must be left in the tomb, and the Ba will consume the "essence" of these offerings. (The priests of course then get to consume the physical offerings which are no use to the dead, pretty clever huh?)
Akh - This one is the combination of Ka and Ba. And it only comes into being if the proper rituals are performed at the funeral, drawing the Ka and Ba out of the body and getting them to come together. The Akh then basically becomes the Ghost. Able to come and go in the afterlife. And able to wind up the relatives if it so chooses!
Now, what interests me in all of this is the idea that this Akh of the dead person (made up of Ba and Ka) needs sustenance to go on existing. Not only in the form of food and drink, but in the form of attention from the living. There is a lovely little phrase which is often found in tombs which reads "Oh you, who live on earth and pass by this stele, if you love life and hate death, say: may he receive a thousand loaves of bread and a thousand jugs of beer!" So a living person can give this sustenance to the Akh of a dead person simply by willing it.
Now, back to modern times, stick all of that together with one of the theories I previously proposed with regards to the soul, Theory 2. The soul is a concept. It's an idea. Can an idea exist if no one is there to think it? Probably it can't. But it definitely can exist if it is shared and there are many people to think it. Can a person go on simply because there are still people to speak their name and remember them?
Maybe the Egyptians and their nutty priests were onto something here? Maybe they weren't. But it's quite a nice thought either way.
The "opening of the mouth ceremony" The priests are drawing out the Ka and Ba to get them to combine into the Akh. Without this ceremony, it was believed a person could not have life after death.
The Human Soul
What's it made of? And does it even exist?
I'm going to put forward a few theories here, and I'd welcome people's comments on this one. I can't say I have a definite opinion myself, more of a rough idea which is open to change. I'd say yes, it does exist and as for what it's made of, strawberry milkshake maybe? Take that to mean I haven't the foggiest! But I do reckon science may well answer that question one day. Take oxygen for example. It's completely invisible to the naked eye, yet we know it's all around us, and we know what it is. But years ago, we didn't even know it existed.
Theory 1
Maybe the soul is made up of something which we don't have the equipment to detect at the moment? If this is the case, I would like to put forward the suggestion that these new particles (or whatever they turned out to be) are named Soulite Kawasakiums. Scientists, please take note!
Theory 2
The soul is a concept. It is the end result of a series of chemical reactions in the brain which make up a persons individuality. I think therefore I am and all that. Maybe "soul" is quite simply another word for "intelligent consciousness".
Theory 3
As Dr Franknfurter so eloquently puts it, maybe the soul is "that elusive spark of life!" Maybe without one, we could not live. Maybe the soul is quite simply life itself. And maybe life itself is a part of those chemical reactions in the brain which allow us to feel emotion, maybe residing in that huge chunk of the brain which we still don't fully understand
Theory 4
Maybe the soul just isn't? It doesn't exist. But then again, if it is a concept, it can exist without needing to exist physically. An idea can exist without being drawn on a bit of paper. But can that idea live on alone once there is no one to think it?
Now hows that for some weighty questions at silly o' clock in the morning? Enjoy!
I'm going to put forward a few theories here, and I'd welcome people's comments on this one. I can't say I have a definite opinion myself, more of a rough idea which is open to change. I'd say yes, it does exist and as for what it's made of, strawberry milkshake maybe? Take that to mean I haven't the foggiest! But I do reckon science may well answer that question one day. Take oxygen for example. It's completely invisible to the naked eye, yet we know it's all around us, and we know what it is. But years ago, we didn't even know it existed.
Theory 1
Maybe the soul is made up of something which we don't have the equipment to detect at the moment? If this is the case, I would like to put forward the suggestion that these new particles (or whatever they turned out to be) are named Soulite Kawasakiums. Scientists, please take note!
Theory 2
The soul is a concept. It is the end result of a series of chemical reactions in the brain which make up a persons individuality. I think therefore I am and all that. Maybe "soul" is quite simply another word for "intelligent consciousness".
Theory 3
As Dr Franknfurter so eloquently puts it, maybe the soul is "that elusive spark of life!" Maybe without one, we could not live. Maybe the soul is quite simply life itself. And maybe life itself is a part of those chemical reactions in the brain which allow us to feel emotion, maybe residing in that huge chunk of the brain which we still don't fully understand
Theory 4
Maybe the soul just isn't? It doesn't exist. But then again, if it is a concept, it can exist without needing to exist physically. An idea can exist without being drawn on a bit of paper. But can that idea live on alone once there is no one to think it?
Now hows that for some weighty questions at silly o' clock in the morning? Enjoy!
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Why Insurance Companies Should Be Shot
...and then fed to the lions at London Zoo!!
Well, why?
Because I am still Ninjaless. And I am still Ninjaless because the lastest letter I sent my insurance company answering and reanswering all the questions they've already asked me ten times anyway was typed. Yes, you read that right. Typed. And they want it handwritten.
I have half a mind to handwrite it in classical latin in the most indecipherable calligraphy I can manage...
And to add insult to injury, they are of course still convinced that my Ninja hasn't been stolen at all and is currently locked up in my garage being party to a nice little bit of insurance fraud. Would that that were the case my friends! Why don't you pop round and check? And if you can somehow miraculously magic my stolen Ninja back into my garage I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll bloody pay out to you, what you should be paying me! And I'll pay it in gold bullion and bloody well gift wrap it an' all!!
Cretins.
Well, why?
Because I am still Ninjaless. And I am still Ninjaless because the lastest letter I sent my insurance company answering and reanswering all the questions they've already asked me ten times anyway was typed. Yes, you read that right. Typed. And they want it handwritten.
I have half a mind to handwrite it in classical latin in the most indecipherable calligraphy I can manage...
And to add insult to injury, they are of course still convinced that my Ninja hasn't been stolen at all and is currently locked up in my garage being party to a nice little bit of insurance fraud. Would that that were the case my friends! Why don't you pop round and check? And if you can somehow miraculously magic my stolen Ninja back into my garage I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll bloody pay out to you, what you should be paying me! And I'll pay it in gold bullion and bloody well gift wrap it an' all!!
Cretins.
The NHS
Somewhere, in the vast mists of time, I once heard the NHS described as a 'vast money sucking beast we can scarce afford'. Which is so very true. But would we want to be without it?
No.
Obviously.
I really have heard the phrase "the NHS are useless" far too many times recently...
I think the thing a lot of people are forgetting is that private healthcare is readily available. However if you want a better service, (shock horror!) you have to pay for it. And pay a lot more than you do for the NHS, for it. Yes, the NHS is slightly flawed, but the bottom line here is that it exists. Once you get so completely used to something you begin to take it for granted, and to see flaws in it. America is a classic example here, their healthcare system is based on insurance. And as we all know, all insurance companies the world over are frauds!! No insurance means no treatment. Okay, maybe that's a slightly exaggerated viewpoint! But not being an American, I've not experienced healthcare (or lack thereof) over there, so I'm not 100% au fait with how it works. But I can say it doesn't sound good to me. That's beside the point anyway. The point is, what would we do without our NHS? Can you imagine it? Can you imagine there being no help at all available if you need life saving treatment? What about the elderly? What if insurance was available, but the insurance companies turned OAPs down? What if an elderly lady has a stroke, and has no one to call? It's not a nice thought. Not a nice thought at all.
Now I'm not saying the NHS is perfect, far from it actually. There is still a LOT of room for improvement. But I'm confident that improvement is slowly happening, and will continue to do so. It's trial and error really, try a new scheme, scrap it if it doesn't work, try again. What bothers me is the needless complaining. Now I know complaining is the British way of life, but come on! It's really not that bad. I've heard people complaining about all sorts of things, the main one being waiting times. Long waiting times are pretty much a given unless we can magic up some more money from somewhere. Getting bounced around Doctors and departments is another favourite. And then of course there are the things that go wrong. Patients being "forgotten", things being lost, people not being told what to do next. And then of course there's the dreadful food!! But these are all things which can, and I'm sure eventually will, change. Maybe not the dreadful food, I doubt that will ever change! But everything else should.
At least the NHS exists. And although we do still technically pay for it, we don't pay at the point of treatment, we won't ever be turned away due to money.
So please people, look on the bright side of life. Next time a Nurse manages to lose a report, or a Hospital takes 3 hours to finally get round to seeing you, take a step back and think. What if there were no Doctors and there were no Hospitals? Yes the NHS isn't perfect, and people are only human after all, but it exists! And here's hoping those flaws are worked out eventually. It'll never be perfect, that's just impossible. But as long as it goes on saving lives, regardless of age, race, sex, money, or anything else, surely it's pretty damn good and we should be glad we've got it. And we should be striving to keep it, and to improve it, not bitching about it!
No.
Obviously.
I really have heard the phrase "the NHS are useless" far too many times recently...
I think the thing a lot of people are forgetting is that private healthcare is readily available. However if you want a better service, (shock horror!) you have to pay for it. And pay a lot more than you do for the NHS, for it. Yes, the NHS is slightly flawed, but the bottom line here is that it exists. Once you get so completely used to something you begin to take it for granted, and to see flaws in it. America is a classic example here, their healthcare system is based on insurance. And as we all know, all insurance companies the world over are frauds!! No insurance means no treatment. Okay, maybe that's a slightly exaggerated viewpoint! But not being an American, I've not experienced healthcare (or lack thereof) over there, so I'm not 100% au fait with how it works. But I can say it doesn't sound good to me. That's beside the point anyway. The point is, what would we do without our NHS? Can you imagine it? Can you imagine there being no help at all available if you need life saving treatment? What about the elderly? What if insurance was available, but the insurance companies turned OAPs down? What if an elderly lady has a stroke, and has no one to call? It's not a nice thought. Not a nice thought at all.
Now I'm not saying the NHS is perfect, far from it actually. There is still a LOT of room for improvement. But I'm confident that improvement is slowly happening, and will continue to do so. It's trial and error really, try a new scheme, scrap it if it doesn't work, try again. What bothers me is the needless complaining. Now I know complaining is the British way of life, but come on! It's really not that bad. I've heard people complaining about all sorts of things, the main one being waiting times. Long waiting times are pretty much a given unless we can magic up some more money from somewhere. Getting bounced around Doctors and departments is another favourite. And then of course there are the things that go wrong. Patients being "forgotten", things being lost, people not being told what to do next. And then of course there's the dreadful food!! But these are all things which can, and I'm sure eventually will, change. Maybe not the dreadful food, I doubt that will ever change! But everything else should.
At least the NHS exists. And although we do still technically pay for it, we don't pay at the point of treatment, we won't ever be turned away due to money.
So please people, look on the bright side of life. Next time a Nurse manages to lose a report, or a Hospital takes 3 hours to finally get round to seeing you, take a step back and think. What if there were no Doctors and there were no Hospitals? Yes the NHS isn't perfect, and people are only human after all, but it exists! And here's hoping those flaws are worked out eventually. It'll never be perfect, that's just impossible. But as long as it goes on saving lives, regardless of age, race, sex, money, or anything else, surely it's pretty damn good and we should be glad we've got it. And we should be striving to keep it, and to improve it, not bitching about it!
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Students, and Why They Ought to be Hung!!
I really was shocked by these so-called "protests". Totally and completely. The outrageous behaviour of the students at the last one was completely unbelievable.
And to top it all off, I got stuck in the bloody traffic down Embankment!!
They were pushing over Police Horses, smashing windows, burning things and throwing all sorts of rubbish. That's not a protest, its a riot.
The two things that really bothered me however, were these;
1. Spraying graffiti on a statue of Winston Churchill. Disrespectful and now yet another expense for the government as it will have to be cleaned.
2. Taking potshots at Royals. And smashing their car windows!
The Graffiti, yes, just another act of mindless destruction. Not forgivable, but understandable. Attacking the Royal Car, what's the excuse for that? Last time I looked neither Her Majesty The Queen Herself nor any of the rest of the Royal Family had any say whatsoever in what happens to university funding!
The most sickening thing however is that the students responsible, if they're caught, will probably just get a slap on the wrist. For committing a crime which was, and still is, known as High Treason to the Crown.
100 years ago you would have swung for that, not been given a few grand of free money and 3 years excused from work to spend getting merrily pissed.
Solution? Close the Universities. That'll do it! No uni, no uni fees, and therefor nothing to whine about!
As for any future protests, (probably over closed unis...) simply give the police rubber bullets and tear gas and film the whole thing!!
I'd pay to watch that.
And to top it all off, I got stuck in the bloody traffic down Embankment!!
They were pushing over Police Horses, smashing windows, burning things and throwing all sorts of rubbish. That's not a protest, its a riot.
The two things that really bothered me however, were these;
1. Spraying graffiti on a statue of Winston Churchill. Disrespectful and now yet another expense for the government as it will have to be cleaned.
2. Taking potshots at Royals. And smashing their car windows!
The Graffiti, yes, just another act of mindless destruction. Not forgivable, but understandable. Attacking the Royal Car, what's the excuse for that? Last time I looked neither Her Majesty The Queen Herself nor any of the rest of the Royal Family had any say whatsoever in what happens to university funding!
The most sickening thing however is that the students responsible, if they're caught, will probably just get a slap on the wrist. For committing a crime which was, and still is, known as High Treason to the Crown.
100 years ago you would have swung for that, not been given a few grand of free money and 3 years excused from work to spend getting merrily pissed.
Solution? Close the Universities. That'll do it! No uni, no uni fees, and therefor nothing to whine about!
As for any future protests, (probably over closed unis...) simply give the police rubber bullets and tear gas and film the whole thing!!
I'd pay to watch that.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
What the IAM Don't Tell You
As previously mentioned, I am a member of the IAM. And I really do rate it in a lot of ways. A lot of younger riders are totally put off by the whole "IAM is all old men on Beemers" image, which is a shame, it's not all of them! Honest! My advice to anyone, would honestly be, try it for yourself and see what you think. So, for anyone interested in the IAM I have written some useful advice from my own experiences of them. And for once, it is sensible consumer advice! Not silly advice about politics and who has or hasn't had botox...
PROs
- This is the obvious one here...it lowers your insurance. And unlike some things *cough cough, Bikesafe, cough cough* it actually does. Surety are the IAM insurers. For a 20-something on a 600-1000cc sportsbike, this is a godsend!
- It's quite fun. If you find a good club, chances are they will take you on some fabulous out of the way roads you never even knew existed!
- It helps keep you alive. Honestly speaking, a lot of the stuff I was taught I already knew. Although a lot of it was other things I simply hadn't thought of yet as a new rider. But there is a huge difference between "already knowing" and "consistently putting into practice". Silly little things like keeping out of the way of side road junctions which you know you need to do, but if you're too busy thinking about whats for dinner, you often forget to do. The opportunity to put that into practice once a month on a sunny sunday for an hour really helps to keep it in the front of your mind.
- They're not all miserable old men. Let's be fair now, a good number of them are... but I promise you it's not all of them! I have met a lot of really nice people through my IAM club. It's also quite nice to know that the person who seems nice in the caff when they suggest a quick blast up to Box Hill, isn't going to turn out to be a total tit when you get out on the road!
- It really helps your confidence, especially if you're on a new bike, it's a great way to get used to it.
- The cornering advice is fab! It's the usual stuff, over to the right on a left hander and vice versa. However it's really useful to get the opportunity to have someone in your ear saying "left a bit, right a bit, you can lean it a touch more etc". Especially someone who isn't a miserable DAS instructor constantly reminding you what the speed limit is and to look in your mirrors sixteen times before you pull away from traffic lights...
CONs
- Some clubs are badly run, human error and all that. Persevere, I tried 3 clubs before finding a decent one at number 4.
- You can encounter a few snobby gits who look down on younger riders, particularly younger riders with cheap first bikes. Ignore. They're probably just having a mid life crisis, or are menopausal. Unfortunately organisations like the IAM tend to also attract their fair share of idiots, don't judge the whole thing based on the pratts.
- Speed Limits. Everyone hates speed limits, fact. Especially silly ones which cater to the stupidest driver. Like 30 limits on massive dual carriageways because one old lady once happened to drive into a tree. In my personal experience with the IAM, it's been either a case of stick to the 30s-50s and do what you like in the nationals. Or it's simply keep up with the traffic flow and drive at whatever speed you like as long as you're not driving like a tit. It seems to be pretty much down to the person you go out with. Although more often than not, I have heard the national sign, or the "magic sign" referred to as the "GLF" sign... I shall leave you to google that one for what it stands for!!
So to summarise, do it! It's so worth it, and once you've paid, that's it, there are no ongoing costs other than your petrol, or your individual IAM bike club membership if you chose it. I honestly believe it's kept me alive all this time. Yes, you probably will encounter a few pratts, but try a couple of different clubs before signing up. The "tester days" to try a new club are all free. Definitely do not be put off by the age gaps, if you join a big enough, good enough group, there will be an enormous range of people there.
I really hope I don't get sued....
Find out the official stuff here. And don't buy it online, my club charged me 70 quid, not £139.
PROs
- This is the obvious one here...it lowers your insurance. And unlike some things *cough cough, Bikesafe, cough cough* it actually does. Surety are the IAM insurers. For a 20-something on a 600-1000cc sportsbike, this is a godsend!
- It's quite fun. If you find a good club, chances are they will take you on some fabulous out of the way roads you never even knew existed!
- It helps keep you alive. Honestly speaking, a lot of the stuff I was taught I already knew. Although a lot of it was other things I simply hadn't thought of yet as a new rider. But there is a huge difference between "already knowing" and "consistently putting into practice". Silly little things like keeping out of the way of side road junctions which you know you need to do, but if you're too busy thinking about whats for dinner, you often forget to do. The opportunity to put that into practice once a month on a sunny sunday for an hour really helps to keep it in the front of your mind.
- They're not all miserable old men. Let's be fair now, a good number of them are... but I promise you it's not all of them! I have met a lot of really nice people through my IAM club. It's also quite nice to know that the person who seems nice in the caff when they suggest a quick blast up to Box Hill, isn't going to turn out to be a total tit when you get out on the road!
- It really helps your confidence, especially if you're on a new bike, it's a great way to get used to it.
- The cornering advice is fab! It's the usual stuff, over to the right on a left hander and vice versa. However it's really useful to get the opportunity to have someone in your ear saying "left a bit, right a bit, you can lean it a touch more etc". Especially someone who isn't a miserable DAS instructor constantly reminding you what the speed limit is and to look in your mirrors sixteen times before you pull away from traffic lights...
CONs
- Some clubs are badly run, human error and all that. Persevere, I tried 3 clubs before finding a decent one at number 4.
- You can encounter a few snobby gits who look down on younger riders, particularly younger riders with cheap first bikes. Ignore. They're probably just having a mid life crisis, or are menopausal. Unfortunately organisations like the IAM tend to also attract their fair share of idiots, don't judge the whole thing based on the pratts.
- Speed Limits. Everyone hates speed limits, fact. Especially silly ones which cater to the stupidest driver. Like 30 limits on massive dual carriageways because one old lady once happened to drive into a tree. In my personal experience with the IAM, it's been either a case of stick to the 30s-50s and do what you like in the nationals. Or it's simply keep up with the traffic flow and drive at whatever speed you like as long as you're not driving like a tit. It seems to be pretty much down to the person you go out with. Although more often than not, I have heard the national sign, or the "magic sign" referred to as the "GLF" sign... I shall leave you to google that one for what it stands for!!
So to summarise, do it! It's so worth it, and once you've paid, that's it, there are no ongoing costs other than your petrol, or your individual IAM bike club membership if you chose it. I honestly believe it's kept me alive all this time. Yes, you probably will encounter a few pratts, but try a couple of different clubs before signing up. The "tester days" to try a new club are all free. Definitely do not be put off by the age gaps, if you join a big enough, good enough group, there will be an enormous range of people there.
I really hope I don't get sued....
Find out the official stuff here. And don't buy it online, my club charged me 70 quid, not £139.
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