Why Insurance Companies Should Be Shot

...and then fed to the lions at London Zoo!!

Well, why?

Because I am still Ninjaless. And I am still Ninjaless because the lastest letter I sent my insurance company answering and reanswering all the questions they've already asked me ten times anyway was typed. Yes, you read that right. Typed. And they want it handwritten.

I have half a mind to handwrite it in classical latin in the most indecipherable calligraphy I can manage...


And to add insult to injury, they are of course still convinced that my Ninja hasn't been stolen at all and is currently locked up in my garage being party to a nice little bit of insurance fraud. Would that that were the case my friends! Why don't you pop round and check? And if you can somehow miraculously magic my stolen Ninja back into my garage I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll bloody pay out to you, what you should be paying me! And I'll pay it in gold bullion and bloody well gift wrap it an' all!!

Cretins.