The Old Bill ain't half daft sometimes...

Well, a lot of the time actually, if you ask me!

My garage was broken into yesterday. This is nothing more than a downright nuisance as all it contains is a load of old junk. So unless the thief has a fetish for empty bottles of engine oil and broken fridges, there wasn't a lot that would be of any interest to him in there!
The reaction of the Old Bill to this little dilemma was enlightening, to say the least. Now let me just put this into perspective. My motorcycle was stolen last year. Value? 8 1/2 grand. A friend's Ninja was stolen the following day, value? 6-7 grand. Then another friends went the following day, value? 8 grand. Then someone else's Ninja went, then another, and the list goes on. Over the space of a month, the same group of thieves collected a good quarter mill's worth of bikes. All Ninjas. All matching descriptions of the same van. (It was a fairly distinctive van) When I rang the old bill, with half a ton of evidence, including CCTV, they "filed a report". Over the phone.
Compare that, if you will, to my garage full of junk. They sent round an officer, who took a good 3 hours taking a statement. They sent round someone to "forensically secure" the garage. (Who didn't have anything to do it with, borrowed a bit of wood from me, then put his hands all over the doors anyway) And today they have promised to send round a forensic team. (Who, as yet, haven't shown!) Bear in mind here that nothing is missing from the garage. Including the empty bottles of oil. And the broken fridge is actually still there. And it's still broken. If anything, it's a little rustier than it was last time I looked.

Work that one out!

My suggestion? Well, if you're ever unlucky enough to have a motorcycle stolen, tell the police your garden shed has been broken into and you're awfully frightened that your 20 year old lawnmower that doesn't work is missing! Oh, and your broom with no handle is definitely gone.
You never know, that way they make actually turn up...