Football Players - Seriously, what's the problem?

I have seen one too many places of late quoting football players salaries. Personally, I couldn't really give a toss what football players are paid. When the world cup is on, I have a large sign on my shop door advertising it as a football free zone - and I will throw people out if they happen to mention football! However, whether or not I happen to like football is by the by. (For the record, I don't. In case you hadn't guessed.) Let me now quote you something which is once again doing the rounds on Facebook;

"footballers give 90 mins of their time kicking a ball around for vast sums of money..... soldiers fight to defend this country and those who live here.....they deserve the footballer's wage"

There are plenty of similar ones which crop up from time to time, with "repost if you believe this...honor our troops" etc etc. It's all much for a muchness. I'm sure you may even have encountered one or two.

It's also all utter, utter nonsense.

It's basic business when you get right down to it. Straightforward stuff. The Army isn't really a business. There's no incentive there to maximise profits, whether or not there are even any profits in the first place is a subject I'm not exactly qualified to comment on. Business on the other hand, I have a bit of a grasp of. Mister [insert random *ahem* "overpaid footballer" here] is doing a job with a great degree of profit potential. Initially he's kicking a ball around for 90 minutes and getting paid a fair few bob for doing it. He can command said fair few bob because the organisers know what they're doing when it comes to making money. Sponsorships, Advertising, Merchandising, and of course Ticket Sales. And that's not an exhaustive list. They're bringing in the money, so Mister Footballer can command his share of it. If they won't pay him the share he wants, well, him and his Image can bugger off to someone else who will. Then of course there's his Image itself. His Image sells, as they say. If either Mister Footballer or his Agent have an ounce of business sense (which of course they do, in abundance it seems!) they'll use his Image in a ton of ways. Again, Sponsorships, Advertising, Merchandising and anything else which will earn a few pennies! It just so happens that the industry which Mister Footballer works in is worth millions, and isn't exactly all reliant on playing football games either. There's nothing to stop him donning a pair of designer trainers for the afternoon to kick a ball around in front of a few cameras in a London studio somewhere. By doing which, he can make a small fortune in an afternoons work, simply for allowing said designer trainers to grace his worshipful feet.

If you had a job like that, wouldn't you milk it for all it's worth too?
So, back to the Army. Where is that opportunity for merchandising? Sponsorships? Advertising? Will military uniforms suddenly start sporting silly slogans? Could certain companies be allowed to advertise on the side of our aircraft carriers? Sounds a bit daft, doesn't it. I'm sure they could, but that's not the point of the Army. They're not there to make money. They're there to blow up Ze Germans if Hitler suddenly rises from the grave and gets up his horrible Jew-Burning habit again. (Not likely, I grant you. But I'm told Jesus managed it, well, not the Jew-Burning part...)
I'm sure you see my point. It's comparing a business and a service. Granted, a service can also be a business, but the Army is not such. Therefore the whole comparison is just downright silly.

So, what started all this? I was reading an interview with Belle de Jour (That's Brooke Magnanti nowadays) and noticed a comment down the bottom along the same vein of Soldiers Wages vs Footballers Wages, only it was actually Research Scientists Wages vs Footballers Wages. I shan't go into it other than that. But it got me thinking, Mister Godwin really needs to do a study into this one too. According to Godwin's Law;

"As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."^[3][2] In other words, Godwin put forth the hyperbolic observation that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope—someone inevitably criticizes some point made in the discussion by comparing it to beliefs held by Hitler and the Nazis." *

So, to finish, I should like to propose Christie's Law;

"As an online discussion involving the subject of low wages, with regards to groups deemed to be a form of public service [such as military, academic, charitable etc] grows longer, it is only a matter of time before someone gets all righteous about Wayne Rooney's income"



* and yes, I know I'm one of the worst perpetrators of Godwins Law, it just so happens that Hitler is a favourite subject of mine. Don't get me wrong, nothing to do with burning Jews whatsoever, he's just so recognisable as the iconic "bad guy", and therefore makes for such very good satire...