Things I'd like to do to Motorcycle Theives

Because obviously the current laws aren't tough enough, as I'm sure any biker would agree. So I'd like to propose a few suggestions of my own;

1. Lock them up in their white van permanently instead of prison. Maybe occasionally posting crusts of bread through the window. Throw away the keys.

2. Make them wear a collar with a "bell". Like you do for a cat to stop it catching birds, but instead of a bell fit it with a little device that plays a message every time they move. Ooh I don't know, something along the lines of; "I am a thieving bastard who steals motorcycles!! Please keep an eye on your bike if I am anywhere near you!"

3. Bring in a type of stoning. Done by the bikers from whom they've stolen bikes, and instead of stones, use all the cut off disk locks/padlocks/chains/broken garage doors etc. that those bikers have been left with.


4. Hang, Draw and Quarter them. I would advise the government to consider hanging them using one of the bike chains they've cut through. Draw them behind their (probably stolen) white van. And finally Quarter them using four of the bikes they've stolen. Preferably ridden by their rightful owners!!

And my personal favourite...

5. Burn them. Just burn them like the heretics they are! Preferably at a Bike Rally.

Bitter? Me? Nah! Of course not...