For Whom the Bell Tolls

Well, I don't really know what popped this one in my head today, but I feel it needs a bit of investigating!

The other half was reading a Ben Elton* some time ago, and commented on the Executioner character with the tattoo on his head that reads;

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee"

Which, apart from being nice and dramatic, got me thinking. And I remarked that the "bell" refers to the bell at Saint Sepulchre's that used to toll on execution day outside London's Newgate prison.
Then I thought, "where the bloody hell did I get that idea from? It's a quote from scripture isn't it?" Swiftly followed by thinking about the Metallica song and forgetting all about it.

Que a bit of actual research!

Well, I was sort of right. It is a bit religious at least. And that is the whole phrase, whereas I figured Ben Elton had made up the last part! It's from a poem written by an English "Metaphysical Poet" in the 1600s.

Here it is in the original context;

No Man is an Island - John Donne

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory** were, as
well as a manor of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

First Published: 1624


The bell in question turns out to be funeral bells. (Church bells tolling to mark a funeral) And the meaning, is in my opinion anyway, a touch morbid. I mean, yes, it's making a striking point about unity, and solidarity etc. Still morbid though; Every time a man dies, a bit of you dies because you are a member of mankind too, just like the deceased. No man is immune, "No man is an island", we're all...continents?

I'll stick to my Edward Lear, thanks all the same mate.


Anyway, there's the origins of the phrase right there. But there is more, of course.

Ernest Hemmingway published a book called "For Whom the Bell Tolls" in 1940 and used Donne's slightly creepy little poem as part of the introduction.
(You know what...it might be creepy, but it's growing on me the more I read it. Bit like that "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow" bit from Macbeth does. It's equally a bit creepy, but somehow eloquent and beautiful, and memorable. Probably because it's creepy.)
Anyhow, I digress. Hemmingway's book is about war, and according to Wikipedia;

"The novel graphically describes the brutality of civil war [...] There is camaraderie in the face of death throughout the novel, with the need for surrender of one's self for the common good repeated."

I presume that is the relevance of using the poem right there, and Hemmingway's seems to be the most famous use of the phrase. That is until Metallica came along of course...





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* The book was Blind Faith. If you haven't read it, go and buy it now!! It really should have been called 2084 if you ask me. It's pure genius, and bloody hilarious.

**Incase you're wondering, I didn't have a clue what the heck a promontory was either, (And no, it's not a Tory who is Pro-Money) so I looked it up; "A promontory is a prominent mass of land that overlooks lower lying land or a body of water (where it may be called a peninsula or headland)"

Gaddaffi's Dead

As I'm sure everyone in the world now knows. I don't know, I guess it's a important event, a step in the right direction towards world peace etc etc... I just thought it would be appropriate to give it a little mention.

But anyway, that over and done with, in much more interesting news, they've kicked the pikeys off Dale Farm!

Pikeys that think building on greenbelt land is acceptable - 0
The rest of the bloody country - 1

Ha!

No no no no no! That is never going to work!

...and I quote;

"MPs and justice campaigners say some of the sentences given to those involved in the riots in England are too harsh.
On Tuesday two men were jailed for four years for using Facebook to incite riots and another was given 18 months for having a stolen TV in his car.
Liberal Democrat MP Tom Brake said sentences "should be about restorative justice" not retribution. [...] Andrew Neilson, of the Howard League for Penal Reform, said: "A four-year sentence would normally be associated with offences such as holding someone up at knife point, grievous bodily harm, sexual assault, and I'm not sure that the offence in question was really related to those types of offences."*

No!
No no no!

Ugh.


For goodness sake! Let's get back to basics here. Let me explain something about the human psyche. And this is not complex psychology, t'aint even remotely Freudian my friends. It's a little something I like to call Common Sense. Now, this may be an unfamiliar term, this Common Sense thing. These days it is almost non-existent, and has been utterly and totally obliterated by a little something called Health and Safety, or as I like to call it, Bullshit.
All humans are born with some modicum of Common Sense. Sometimes, people like www.Hadatriporfallatwork.Iknow!Suetheboss.com are able to eradicate Common Sense in some individuals through the power of Free Money. But for most people, Common Sense remains, lurking in the deep dark recesses of their brains.

Now, let me explain how this works;

1. Child puts finger into candle flame because it is pretty.
2. Candle flame might be pretty, but it's also bloody hot.
3. Child burns their finger on candle flame
4. It hurts. A lot.
5. Child does not do that again, because it hurts.

or;

1. Rioter steals telly, because it is pretty.
2. Old bill arrest rioter because stealing is illegal.
3. Rioter goes to prison. Prison is horrible.
4. Rioter finally gets out of prison and doesn't steal any more tellys.
5. Rioter doesn't fancy ending up in prison again. Prison is horrible.


It's called Common Sense people!!

Ugh.


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*Quote taken from the BBC website here.

Riots, Race Relations and Coalminers and things

Well, ever since these riots began, I have been telling anyone and everyone who will listen that the BNP are going to have a field day with this one once it's all over. And that those idiots who started the riots have just strengthened the perception that all black people are evil telly-stealing thieves tenfold. Well done guys! Have a gold star. You've done wonders for race-relations and just fuelled the BNPs campaigns for the next ten years!

Cretins.

Anyhow, I've always had a soft spot for the BNP, firstly because they're silly policies are always good for a laugh. And secondly, because I can see potential there. I know this is a controversial view, and the BNP are essentially a bunch of flag-waving racists. But they are a bunch of flag-waving racists who don't half give a good speech on Patriotism. And Patriotism is something this country could do with a bit more of in my opinion. Less of the "it's all going to the dogs!" and more of the "well, isn't the NHS a bloody good idea." Sadly however, burning all the jews ain't the way to go about it. So for the time being, the BNP are relegated to the silly camp. (More on this here and here for anyone who is interested)

Anyway, back to the Field Day. I found this article on their website:

"In this multicultural ‘utopia’ – why does one community demand to be treated differently to the others?"

And I had a good old giggle over this quote:

"While the Lib/Lab/Con-supporting mainstream media has already sought to change the truth by printing many pictures of white-skinned rioters and looters with only the occasional black face shown"

No, actually, they haven't. Hate to break it to you guys, there are plenty of pictures of both. I know this, I spent last tuesday glued to both the BBC and Sky's live riot news. The whole 1984 attitude that the government control the media and use it for a good old bit of brainwashing really does irritate me a lot. 2 + 2 will never equal 5, no matter what the conspiracy theorists would have you believe. And no, Big Brother is not watching you! He has better things to do.

But I rather liked this quote:

"People who do not work when they can, who continually produce and raise children with no father around, who do not ensure that their children at least learn to read, write and speak recognisable English, and who allow their children to grow up with no ambitions and to feel that the world owes them something and has let them down are people who take no responsibility for their own lives and simply rely on others to provide for them and take the blame when their lives don’t match up to what they seem to think they should."

Goodness gracious me! Did the BNP just agree with David Cameron on something...?
Well, almost. The only difference is that the BNP, predictably, blame the whole thing on immigration. And Cameron, well, he's been very careful about blaming anyone. He's merely been stating the fact that there are a "group of people within our society that...feel the world owes them something" I have to say, I prefer how the BNP said it. But then they're not really real politicians, so they can say what they like.
I do wish the Conservatives were able to stop trying to be nice and just come out with it. The benefit system is a good idea badly executed, and certain bits of it just need to go. I'd love to help write their posters!

"Enough is Enough. We've cut the deficit, and now we're going to cut the freeloaders. Cut their benefits and then cut them up into little teeny tiny pieces!! Ooh yeah, we're back in business baby! And this time there ain't no coalminers to strike over things!"


I hope no one ever allows me to take up politics in earnest y'know...

RIOTS - Ruddy Idiots On Tottenham's Streets!

What a bunch of plonkers Rodney!

Yes, well, the "Tottenham Riots", which seem to now be the "Any city there's good shops to rob Riots".

So, lets get the facts out of the way first:

1. Man with gun got shot by police.
2. People had a protest about it.
3. More people arrived and started smashing windows and stealing things.
4. Everyone loves a bit of free shit, so half the bloody country joined in.

Firstly, I have to say I actually feel for this guys poor family. First they find out their son is a drug dealer who carried a gun. Then they find out the Old Bill have shot him, because he had a gun. And now a load of kids are stealing trainers from JJB Sports in his name. That is not going to help with the grieving process!

The lad who got shot is, of course, just an excuse now. I really do think Cameron hit the nail on the head when he spoke about "a group of people who...feel the world owes them something" being the root cause of the problem.
Oh bugger it, I'm gonna jump right in here...it's all Labour's bloody fault!! There's no such thing as a free lunch. No matter how much they'd have liked people to think otherwise, there really isn't. It was all going to go tits up one day, and now it has begun. People are angry because the current government are making cuts. Funnily enough, if the previous government hadn't been spending money that wasn't there, the current government wouldn't be making those cuts. When I was younger, my Mum warned me about credit cards. She warned me that it is very easy to balls it all up and end up owing money you can't afford to pay. I don't have any credit cards pretty much as a direct result of those warnings. I firmly believe credit cards are the Devil's Plaything and you won't catch me anywhere near one!! Someone really ought to have stepped in and pointed this out to the previous government. If it ever happens again, (Labour getting elected that is) I volunteer my Mum. She'd give 'em what for, and there would be no arguing the point!

Thing is, the benefit system is rubbish.* It encourages bone idleness. Too many people are able to claim free money for all sorts of ridiculous reasons. I have a 20-something friend whose working days I could probably count on one hand. She lives in a rather nice one bed flat with all expenses paid. For no apparent reason whatsoever other than sheer laziness. I believe "I'm allergic to work" is a viable thing to stick on a benefit claim form these days!
The sickening thing is that if you take away the free houses from the scroungers, as by rights ought to be done, the scroungers will only be out looting JJB again to "protest". What's needed is a change of mentality. A change away from the assumption that the way to become independent and get your first place is not to work hard, and save up a deposit. It's to stick your name on the council list as early as humanely possible and sit tight at your mums until the council hand you a house on a plate.
How can we change that mentality? I honestly don't know. Well, if I was Prime Minister I would personally boot the whole bloody lot of 'em out to fend for themselves for a change whilst yelling "get a job you flamin' parasites!" as loud as I could. Problem Solved.

I do hope the current government sort it all out, and I do believe they're well on the way. Sadly, I also believe that more than good politics, a good PR agent is going to be the solution. Otherwise we're only going to end up with Labour again next time round and the whole bloody cycle will start all over. Failing that, everyone might be so thoroughly sick of the "Big Three" that we end up with the BNP, or worse, the bloody Green Party. And then, God help us all my friends, God help us all!!


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* I'd just like to add one little piece of pretty conclusive evidence that the current benefit system is, well, buggered. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but I do run a business and I survive. But I am actually technically entitled to £400 a month of benefits. Yep. Me. Benefits. Oh do piss off! What on earth for? I have half a mind to claim it, demand it's paid in one pound coins, and then spend an afternoon throwing those coins at the council offices!!

The Bailey Report - "Sexualisation"

God this irritates me!

Have a little looky here if you'd like a bit of background: Belle de Jour "Sexonomics"

Basically, it's a report given to the government by a bloke with a clear agenda to get a few column inches and shock a few people. It's all about how the government should "clamp down" on Sexualisation. As mentioned in Belle de Jour's blog, nowhere is "Sexualisation" actually defined. But I think we can safely take it to mean children wearing ridiculous crop top-type clothes and talking like a nigga from the ghetto, innit. Or other similar things, anyway.
I can tell you now that it irritates me a lot. An awful lot! Let me tell you why. But first, if you'd like to, you can check out the full review here.


So, the first problem I came across was in one of the first quotes from a parent;

Silly parent quote #1

"There is a need for such a huge cultural shift away from consumerism that I feel powerless as an individual to act"

Bollocks. If you don't buy it, they won't sell it. That's how it works. And even if there is a market out there for whatever particular product you don't want your child to have, just don't buy it yourself. I always wanted a cat when I was a child, not particularly sexual I know (unless you are slightly creepy, actually, very creepy) but you know what? My mum wouldn't let me have one. She didn't require all cats everywhere to be slaughtered and never sold again in case other children wanted one too.

Silly parent quote #2

"Advertising for perfumes is almost always of a sexual nature"

You ready for this? No. It's not. And here's why;

Reason 1 - A strapless dress.
Reason 2 - A strange lady with a moustache.
Reason 3 - A fairy. Clearly. It's hot where fairies come from, hence the silly gold top.
Reason 4 - A man and woman having a cuddle.

It's only as sexual as you make it guys.

Silly Parent quote # 3

"It is unfortunate that the lazy, uninventive ‘sex sells’ attitude of the media which plasters sexual images and articles everywhere, causes parents to have to address the topic with their children a lot sooner than many would like, before they are at an age where they are emotionally equipped to understand it."

Bollocks. If your child asks you "what that man is doing on top of that woman", lie. Lie through your teeth! Wrestling, fighting, cuddling, practicing press-ups, whatever you can think of. There's no reason to have the birds and bees talk any time before you want to. If the child is too young, they will accept any ridiculous made up answer you give. If the child is old enough, you're likely to get a response like "looks like they're shagging to me, mum" anyway, making the whole birds and bees exercise slightly pointless.

Silly Parent quote #4

"There is too much sexual (and violent) content before the watershed, particularly in soaps... The other problem is often programmes are repeated on digital channels at different hours of the day."

Simples. Stop watching soaps with the kids around. (Let's face it, for the most part, they're godawful anyway) And for goodness sake, don't put a bloody telly in a kids bedroom!


Silly Parent quote #5

"Whenever I have seen music videos lately I have been completely disheartened by the relentless portrayal of women as sex objects. More often than not they show young women in hardly any clothes … basically simulating sex... For a lot of acts that are popular with young people, the music video has become a way of pushing boundaries to see how much they can get away with."

Buy your child an Iron Maiden album. Then buy them a copy of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner. If, anywhere, there is a video of Eddie "in hardly any clothes … basically simulating sex", I should very much like to see it!

Silly Parent quote #6

"The music videos that children can watch are extremely explicit – from the clothes they wear to the words and actions. Some songs my 13 year old sings back are shocking."

I refer to my previous statement;

"Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink."

I suppose it is shocking, but not in the same way. And a child that understands the way in which it is shocking doesn't exactly strike me as a bad thing...

Silly Parent quote #7

"The internet and on-demand TV is my main concern, with children watching in their bedrooms. What is needed is a default setting for pornography, so that parents cannot leave it accessible by mistake."

Solution 1 - No TV in the bedroom.
Solution 2 - Don't watch porn on the PC your kids use!! Common sense people!

Silly parent quote #8

"My biggest concern is the internet which is also invading young people’s mobile phones."

I can fully understand giving a child a phone, the benefits are obvious. I cannot understand giving a child an iPhone. Tesco do still sell these you know.


Silly Parent quote #9

"The problem is that when you are ‘out and about’ with kids, things aren’t neatly compartmentalised – so clothes shops, music shops, games shops etc sell things aimed at say 9-12 year olds alongside adult products."

I'm going to be perfectly and completely honest here. I have never, not once in my life ever, seen a Dildo for sale in a supermarket next to a Barbie Doll.

Seriously though, if there happens to be a copy of Debbie Does Dallas next to Bambi, don't buy it for your child! How hard is that?*

*Just a little side note here. I once had a woman in my shop with her toddler. Said toddler was running around all over the place, grabbing things, picking things up and throwing things and generally just being a brat. I did my usual "honey please don't do that" which normally does the trick if you glare at the child and smile at the mum, and it didn't work. So I asked the mother to please stop her son running around in case he hurts himself. She snapped back at me and said "you try telling a two year old not to run around" When I offered to do so properly with a good solid clip round the ear, strangely, she declined! But it did make me think. If you cannot control your child, should you necessarily take them shopping? Or should you even be a parent?

Silly Parent Quote #10

"The problem is that parents sometimes feel the peer pressure too and often feel almost forced to buy certain products because other parents are. They feel like bad parents if they don’t."

You are not a bad parent if you refuse to buy your child P. Diddy-Dickhead's latest album and instead buy them a more suitable album. Or better still, a bloody good book. You are a good parent, who is setting your child a foundation for a better future by giving them a good education. They will be the ones laughing all the way to the bank when their company hires one of their former schoolfriends as a cleaner, and informs her that she can't listen to P. Diddy-Dickhead on her iPod whilst working.



And finally, the only sensible thing I found in the entire review!

"You have a choice as a parent, as an adult. If you don’t like it, don’t let them (have it)."

No shit, Sherlock.


I think that one just about sums up my entire point y'know.

New Gadget! Reviews

I gots me a new bloggy gadget!

What do you think of this blog? Why don't you write me a review? There's now a reviews page for anyone to submit what they think of the whole site. You can write whatever you like, just be nice okay folks!

Have a click here:

http://christiekawasaki.blogspot.com/p/reviews.html

And tell me what you think. Go on, it'll only take a minute!

Oh, and you can do it anonymously if you like. You can also link your own site too. Infact you can do anything at all. All reviewers will be rewarded with a free Air Guitar. And some Fairy Dust.